Recognition Part 2

Recognition Part 1 was about recognising ‘your people’.  Recognition Part 2 is about recognising ‘the’ people who you will never be ready for, the people who are not quite right for you, unhealthy for you, or just plain toxic (perhaps not inherently bad people, but people you should recognise nonetheless).

This time of year is special – even if you are not Christian.  This time of year you see more of your people, spend quality time with your people (or lament that you should be, if only work would let up!), usually it is all good.  Plus, many of us get public holidays!  It is also the time of year that you see ‘the’ people.  In this instance, ‘the’ people will herein be referred to as the ‘unprofessional’ – because let’s face it; the relationship should not be personal…

I attended a Christmas lunch last week with a multitude of current colleagues, previous colleagues and various alumni.  The lunch was average, the company for the most part was splendid (many of my people were in attendance), but also in attendance were the ‘unprofessional’. 

The 2011 year was a year of growth, it was also the year I started recognising the ‘unprofessional’ for who they were, and I stopped making excuses for their actions and stopped waiting for them to change.  Instead, I started to make the changes – I distanced myself from the ‘unprofessional’, I publically committed to my beloved, I changed firms, I contributed more to me and my people, I stopped making excuses for others and instead acknowledged my own faults and attempted to act upon them.  The result was a good growth year, and no one can ask for more than that.

But, back to this lunch… it has been almost a year since I ‘enjoyed’ the company of the ‘unprofessional’ (those in question at least), and not surprising, but most certainly disappointing, they had not changed, they still required people to make excuses for them and I believe with the benefit of time, the ‘unprofessional’ now appear to be indefensible and merely excelling in guile.

The point? 

Recognition.  When making excuses for those around you becomes a full time job, sometimes the only thing to do is recognise it.  Once you start to recognise it / the ‘unprofessional’, you may recognise ‘your people’ at little more clearly and you may love them a little more dearly.

Volume

Have you ever noticed there are some people who are just inherently loud?  And I am not talking about the obnoxiously loud talkers (perhaps for a subsequent post), but the individuals who just have so much to share, have such a great capacity for love, that when they speak they are at least 10 decibels louder than anyone else!

Some of these people are ‘my people’. 

Last Saturday I hosted a cousins catch up (just the ladies).  It was the first time my husband had been a witness to one of these catch ups.  He repeatedly advised me on Sunday that they were loud; he could hear, crystal clear the conversations… or rather the gossip that was spewing out at a rate of knots, despite being hidden somewhere in the house. 

My husband found the resulting energy slightly unnerving. I know my brother-in-law finds it all too much.  I find these feelings to be disappointing, but only because I LOVE the volume.

I think the volume correlates directly to love and eagerness.  We are just like a music device – if there is a song you just love, you can’t help turn it up.  For this reason, I think ‘volume’ in a family is important, and so I am broadcasting my love straight to you.